Offending People

Where do you draw the line on offending people? I mean, do you offend others with abandon? Are you one of those personality types that takes no prisoners, just say what you think and let others like it or not?
I am not like that. I am, and maybe you are, very sensitive to what others think of me. And more than that, I don’t want to make anyone upset. You can call that co-dependency, people pleasing, conflict avoidant, or whatever. Being the sensitive type has helped me be a decent counselor and minister. And it can mean taking on a heavy burden of my own feelings plus the feelings of others around me.

I once saw a quiz on “Other Directedness.” In a few short questions you could find out if you were more self-directed or other-directed. To be other-directed means you try to see what others want and do that rather than confidently making your own decisions by your own criteria. I ranked pretty high in being other directed. Some of my clients are higher on that scale than even I.

Now is a time for taking action and speaking up. Do you agree? Your first reaction to the statement “Now is a time for taking action and speaking up” says a lot about whether you are self-directed or other-directed.
There are lots of arguments and taking sides. I’m not promoting that. But some of us are just scared to say anything that will offend somebody. This may be you. Keep the peace, don’t rock the boat, don’t stir up any trouble.

But you know the definition of insanity right? Do the same things you have always done but expect different results. It doesn’t work.

It’s time to do something different. What is that different thing for you? It may be a big thing. It may be a small thing. Do you need to join a protest, join a movement, speak up to a boss or spouse? Will you do anything different?

Hopefully you are safe and healthy. But if you grieve something wrong in society or your life, let that grief push you to make a change. Small steps are okay. Remember George Bailey in “It’s a Wonderful Life?” He thought his small life made no difference, but it did. Doing right, doing the uncomfortable thing can change your life, it can change someone else’s.