Unresolved Tragedies

Everybody knows a tragedy story. So and so was just minding their business and this terrible thing happened. Or several people were minding their business and this terrible thing happened. But we go on. Maybe it is a mixture of denial and determination that pushes us on. We ignore the risk or push past the fear and go on.

The unspoken, unresolved stuff goes someplace in our mind and body. It just hangs out there with the other stuff we pushed down there over the years. A good venting session with a counselor or friend may get it out. But some things are never mentioned, some things seem to just go away.

But of course, they go somewhere. They are at least memories, or maybe that pain in your neck or your gut.

There are things we should say out loud, should come to grips with. Are you afraid to go into a grocery store because someone might bring a gun? Where else has it happened? Movie theatres, synagogues, churches, concerts, schools. It is uncomfortable to say, even depressing.

Besides protecting yourself, what should you do? Anything?

10 dead in Buffalo. One day later 1 dead, 5 injured in California. Guns involved. Racism and hate involved. I try not to think about it. It wasn’t in my neighborhood! It wasn’t me or my kind they came for. We hardly notice, this kind of thing has gotten so commonplace.

Now a week later, elementary age children shot in Texas.

Something is terribly wrong. And we know it. But we either don’t want to talk about it, or we make some grand proclamations of blame: “It’s the liberals’ fault for coddling people and undermining the police. We need better policing!” Or we say, “Conservatives worship their guns, they don’t care how many people get killed with easy access to guns.”

Something is terribly wrong. And I know it but I can’t talk about it every time it happens because I don’t know what to do.

Some quotes come to mind:

“Silence in the face of evil is itself evil: God will not hold us guiltless.
Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.”
― Dietrich Bonhoeffer

That’s kind of harsh, right? I feel powerless to do anything so I don’t do anything. I can’t help that, right? It won’t help if I just beat myself up feeling guilty…

First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a socialist. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out— because I was not a trade unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Jew. Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me. - Martin Niemöller

These are quotes from two German pastors, and they challenge us.

Here’s some simple things we can do:

Don’t laugh at racist jokes. Maybe even say, “that’s not funny,”

Make friends with someone different than you. Get to know them as a human.

Help a lonely person, who could lash out in violence, find community.

Question yourself when you’re tempted to jump on the bandwagon of blame, especially when a certain kind of people get the blame.

If you own any kind of weapon, be careful with it. Take classes, lock it up when not needed.

If you believe, pray. Follow your values if they include kindness and compassion.

Most of life doesn’t have easy answers, so when people blame kinds of people for problems, it’s probably not the whole truth. When anything is presented in an us vs. them way, it’s probably not the whole truth.

Find hope in the good. As Mr. Rogers said, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping. “